Stephen Bleile

Oh sure, we’ve all done things that we’re pretty sure are quite bad.  Maybe even terrible.

Past guilt-inspiring activity (if you feel bad enough) should provoke two questions:  how do I avoid this feeling in the future?  How do I undo the thing I did in the past?

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has to sleep knowing his soldiers killed innocent protestors.  I have to live with knowing the cheeseburger I stole in Jr. High can never be replaced.

In my experience the guilt / shame that follows a bad decision is rarely equal.  It usually seems 1000x worse! The longer I think on it the worse said action gets until I can think of little else and I am virtually immobilized.

But what if it’s not quite as bad as all of that?  What if your last guilt-inspiring act wasn’t exactly novel?  And by its very unoriginality it loses some of its sting.

Chances are you are not one of the worst people you know.  And if you are you maybe haven’t heard of this lot:

Many cultures have been known to sacrifice their children to the gods.  The Roman version of “who’s got talent” c. 200 AD was comprised of slaves killing each other with spears, tridents, and fish nets. The winner received the prize of being alive while their agents/ masters were plotting to dominate the world (or at very least their neighbors) with unrivaled ambition.  Um, except for the French, the Germans, Microsoft, the Americans, the Belgians, Great Britain, Russia, Japan, Iraq, Iran, India, Google, Pakistan, to name a few.

In America a large proportion of polled university students report they would cheat if they would not get caught.  A disturbing number of males report they would rape a female on campus if they would not be caught.

If you’ve done something you’re ashamed of chances are you’ve already experienced the repercussions: fear, shame, isolation and lying are all fruits of doing something wrong. Plus, there are the direct results of whatever problem you’ve created for yourself.

Some address these problems by throwing out the rules. No rules, no problem, no reason for guilt right?  Theory being: Remove guilt by removing standard that created guilt and then address the collateral damage and it’s all good.

What if it’s not as bad as all of that?  What if we needn’t throw out our moral standards (READ: God, 10 Commandments, etc.) What if whatever  you’ve done isn’t as bad as you think it is? What if the very rule book we seek to eliminate has a solution for the problem?

Virtually no one reading this has organized his / her government to attack another country so I think we’re all on relatively good moral standing compared to some.

What if the same moral standards we seek to throw out have solutions for the problem of guilt?  And since our guilt isn’t THAT bad we needn’t throw out ALL of the moral rule book?

Guilt amplifies in our head until we don’t want to deal with whatever causes it.  It may have help.

Sometimes we throw out that thing that points out our sin (READ: Jesus) entirely missing that as much as sin is illuminated it is also sorted out.

I think it’s entirely possible that in the last X years of human history your guilt-inspiring activity has been done before.

Don’t worry, no one thinks we’re as perfect as we pretend to be – especially God- (and I’m sure he’s not surprised or overwhelmed by our misdemeanors.) nor are we as bad as someone/thing may have us believe.

You're not as bad as this guy, are you?

The Bible is not fair.  It says,

¹²Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. Matt 13:12

Doesn’t this make the Bible some sort of Fat-Cat-Empowering Manifesto? -cementing the fate of the poor, the widow, the orphan? -while turning a blind eye to-, or even condoning the-, steady and seemingly endless accumulation of “having” demonstrated by the rich?

What about these two pastors who got busted for jacking US$3.1M from their congregation?

Truthfully, I’ve been wondering about this verse for years.  The dang problem is that it seems to be true.

The Haves do seem to continue having more and the Have Nots… well, in the venerable words of Midnight Oil “The rich get richer and the poor get the picture.”

There are two principles at work here: the first is a basic matter of capital and the second is a matter of perspective.

If I’m not mistaken it is not uncommon for pro athletes to sign US $100M and up contracts.  Tiger Woods reportedly earned just shy of US $12M in the 2007 season from his salary and winnings.  But the kicker is, he made US$ 100M in endorsements.  The point being, of course, he made a fair bit of coin, but hot on the heals of that money he made even more money in endorsements.  He had, and then he had some more.

Since I have yet to sign that million dollar golf deal I have a relatively small amount to invest.  When my intuition is right and my stock goes up 300% (Thanks Painted Pony) my thousand dollars becomes three thousand.  Of course, my friend who put in 10 thousand saw his money zoom up to 30 thousand.  He had and then he had some more.

These are both examples of capital growing.

The second principle in play here is about what we can see about ourselves.  When I read The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz I become aware that I have a lot to offer the world.  Ideas, creativity, my intuition etc.  As I see these strengths and act on them -low and behold what I have multiplies.  Sometimes in money, sometimes in more ideas, and sometimes in really good adventures.

It is when I can’t see them, lose site of the strengths in a sea of my own weakness and depression that I become inert and incapable of creating change. I watch TV for Jesus and that’s about it. The little good I can see in me becomes nothing as I stew on how wretched I am.  I lose even the little I had.

So is the Bible unfair, or is it just calling a spade a spade?

Near as I can tell Jesus said Christians ought to love the poor so I think it might be the latter.

It IS horribly unfair that ministers use the good book to build a church and then siphon the funds for gain.  Let God judge them, I’ve buried a few too many treasures to think I won’t be judged myself.

Fat Cats

P. 123
“He closed by telling us the real battle is won in the mind. It’s won by the guys who understand their areas of weakness, who sit and think about it, plotting and planning to improve. Attending to the details. Work on their weakness and overcome them. Because they can.”

Lone Survivor

Today Tash told me she was the 24th person in the starbucks drivethrough to have the car in front of them pay for their drink.

I guess somebody paid for their own drink and also for the car behind them.  The Starbucks employees kept it rolling – telling each consecutive car that their drinks were paid for and asking if they would they like to do the same.

It’s a perfect example of how a little idea can create adventure.

Adventure is good.

The car behind Tash was number 25.

I wonder who will break the chain?

Having grown up in the church I can tell you the absolute truth on any given topic in five (or less) perfectly thought out phrases.

It’s sort of sad, really.  One of the big 3 religions can be boiled down to five (or less) kitchy phrases…

“Having girl problems? I feel bad for you, son!  I’ve got 99 problems but a Bit** aint one.”

Now that’s a phrase I can kind of get into. But it, of course, is not one of the five i heard growing up.

It’s just nice.

I suppose  the problem with boiling down truth to simple sayings is the answers come off a little bit patronizing or childish.  (Other than quid est veritas – the Latin for “What is Truth?” which seems a perfectly reasonable saying.)

What about, “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

OK. Thanks. Now I’m really confused.

Could it be that the Gospel of Jesus is slightly more deep -even murky-  than I was lead to believe as a child?  Could it be that the little phrases have made it look deceptively shallow? – Like one of those clear pools in the mountains that look to be about 2 feet, but are actually 40′?

Here’s another good one (like the above also not found in the Bible.)

“Make Jesus personal Lord and Savior of your Life.”

Um, What?

I have absolutely no idea what that means.

I’m not advocating a new theology.   I’m just saying maybe HOPEFULLY God is more than a bunch of phrases. (I hesitate to post this – only because Christians can be the most cannibalistic people on the internet.)

I hope God is really an independent agent who is sovereign to do whatever he wants.

The phrases don’t work anyways.

When Jesus instructed people to “come as a child” I don’t think he meant “be childish and hang your hope on kitchy phrases.”

Jesus is real and He is more than a feeling  (Thanks Boston) of being in control because of the power to use phrases.

I hope Jesus hasn’t been abandoned as a result of the 5 (or less) answers to every one of life’s problems. It would seem a shame to dissuade an adventurous  cliff jumper with the wrong information on just how deep the pool is.

Life is like a boy throwing rocks into a lake.

On one shore of the lake there is a town called Passion and on the other Provision.

The boy was raised in Passion throwing rocks whose ripples lapped the shore.

As he grew he knew, instinctively, he had to move to Provision and as he threw his rocks they lapped its banks.  But he always longed for home.

As long as the echos of the ripples at Provision would last he would go back to Passion.  Then he would return.

As he grew his outrospection inspired him and his experiences strengthened him.

He began to throw larger and larger rocks higher and higher until they hit the middle of the lake – ripples racing to either shore.

The job of monitoring the vast storehouse of information, experience, thoughts, feelings -and your reaction to them all- has been assigned to a rather amicable little robot called introspection. (For fear of copyright infringement I won’t point out that is like something you might have seen on Wall-e, but, off the record,  it is quite similar.)

It wonders the immense warehouse of your soul, mind and spirit checking the feelings pressure, monitoring the strength and weakness levels, double checking the insecurity read outs, gauging your optimetrix on the optimimometer (a device which measures optimism and pessimism), and gives you, its faithful companion, readouts.

And there is nothing that delights the little robot more than providing read outs. Read outs on your feeling.  Read outs on how your memories are interacting.   Read outs read out read outs.  It is capable of computing millions of readouts per second and excels at combining even the most extraneous data to produce new (you guessed it) read outs.

Introspection was designed by the body to provide information to you, its faithful companion and provider of new information.  It will not be offended if you reject its findings or decide not to use the information it presents.  It is quite content to provide more read outs read outs read outs.

You can send it on specific missions or it will roam at its own providing you with more read outs read outs read outs.

Since its job is not to analyze the data Introspection was specifically programmed with the ability to provide and believe data that is seemingly contradictory.  When recalling a conversation with a friend your happy feelings may produce happy memories of the conversation and the robot will take great delight in printing a read out.  The next day, let’s say it’s not a happy day, your memory of the same conversation may provoke jealousy.  And the robot will be equally delighted to print a new read – paying no mind to the last.

Because of the amicable nature of the robot and the efficacy of its actions many people can become enamored by it.

This, of course, can represent a whole range of problems.  If, say, you are watching Introspection at work you may fail to notice the light has changed and earn a honk from the angry person behind you.  Or, if while reviewing some read outs you realize that two results produce a paradoxical conclusion. You may attempt to believe both simultaneously.  (I am happy about my friend and jealous of her.) People, not programmed to believe disparate information, often find themselves in immensely uncomfortable situations as a result.

Introspection prints read outs.  Day and night.  It is our job to decide what to do with them.

Intro and Outro. The unexpected elements of a great story.

Introspection looks in.  It puts you at the center of your focus.  It is a mirror to look at yourself.
Outrospection looks out.  It makes other people and situations the focus of your attention.

Like the intro and outro of a story they both have a place.

Introspection is the doormat to your life story.  It is where the greatest adventures will begin and end. It is where you will learn about yourself.  It is where you will see your strengths and weaknesses.  In the end, though, it is mostly just a good place to wipe your feet.

Outrospection lifts our eyes from the muddy doormat to the bright red door of opportunity.  It sees people’s needs, it sees what could be, it amalgamates the information gained from introspection with what it sees in the world ‘out there.’

Every great story that I can think of features people who have struck an organic relationship between these two elements.  They temper one with the other.

>Gandhi tempered his awareness that he needed to eat with the knowledge that his people were dying.  Because of his strong sense of justice he decided that he would pay the personal price.  For an interesting read on Gandhi check this out: http://orwell.ru/library/reviews/gandhi/english/e_gandhi

>Jesus, though moved with compassion for the multitude also took time to be alone in the hills.

>Tevye, the dairyman and father from Fiddler on the Roof watched in dismay as his children broke with tradition and as a pogrom was affected on his town.  He was aware of how his children felt and sacrificed his own convictions for them.  He always took time to talk and walk with his own thoughts and God.

>Bob Dylan was aware of what was going on.  He wrote songs that inspired a nation and a generation.  Songs of immense personal searching and reflection on the happenings of the day.  The crowd wanted him to lead them in their revolution.  He knew he was a voice and not a savior.  He complained of people pursuing him – preferring to live a quiet life. Of all the super sensations of the musical world he is one of the few with no self destroying drug addictions.

The list goes on and on.  I would be surprised if you could think of a story where this dynamic relationship did not exist.

When your potential employer asks you a question he wants you to tell him about your car. No matter the question he is interested in only one thing. Your Car.  When he asks about your education tell him about your car.  When he asks about your relevant experience tell him about your car.

Actually, it’s just the sort of thing that everyone wants to hear you talk about.  Your dentist, your friends, your BFF, and even your mom. Your car your car your car.

C.a.r, you see, is actually a clever acronym for

Circumstance

Action

Result

So really, people wnat to hear your stories.  They want to hear your interactions with your world.  They want to know what you did and what happened as a result.

That being said, I should confess that this piece is not really about your car.  It is actually about living a story that is so enriched by creative action and the hope that your initiatives can make your environment better that  people will want to read your biography while searching for the HBO mini series of the same title.

The car analogy is convenient.  In fact there is another that is built on the chassis of the same frame. (That frame being a car.)

Everyone is born with a measure of talent, creativity, and passion.  So far as I can see no two are born identical. Unlike a car, every human being has unique insights, ideas, and impetus to interact with their world. (Only in the dreary  halls of dullardrum do we see people as all-the-same or equally talented and passionate in the same way.)

Cars are amazingly intricate pieces of machinery.  Sufficiently so that most people take their car to the shop to get it fixed, despite astronomical shop fees, because they just have no idea what’s going on in there. Sufficiently so that while at the wrecker when asked by my brother if the car we were looking at had a starter I confirmed that it did – not knowing I was looking at the transmission.

That being said, and to make the analogy work let us reduce it down to some simple parts.

At the most basic level there are three parts to a working car.

1. Fuel (gas, or petrol for my int’l audience.) 2. Engine 3. Wheels.

That should help us all get on the same page.

Now, let’s talk a little bit about engines.  In the late 1600′s a fine gentleman named Christian Huygens developed an internal combustion engine that would run on gun powder.  http://inventors.about.com/library/weekly/aacarsgasa.htm His attempts are not noted to be particularly successful but he did pave the way for Mr(s). Otto, Benz and Daimler to develop the basic mechanics of how the gas engine in most vehicles you see today work.(Despite trying to take over the world, twice, we can see the Germans have made some contributions to our lives.)

The basic idea of an internal combustion engine is that fuel and air will be mixed in precise proportions, pressurized, made to burn (explode), and in so doing create motion.This motion is then, hopefully, transformed into some usable force:  in the case of a car it is used to turn the wheels.

Let us say that creativity and passion are the air and fuel in the engine.  Creativity that all-seeing mistress and passion that desirous captain make for quite an explosive duo.

What then in the engine?  Discipline.

Whether it is external or internal, discipline is that steely part in us that must be strong enough to contain the explosion of creativity and passion.  It goes by many names – hard work, determination, commitment, hardheadedness etc.

Discipline mixes passion with creativity in precise measures, pressurizes them and then lights them on fire to create.

Without discipline fuel that is burned is useless to a car.  It can be used to burn the car, i suppose, but i highly doubt that anyone sets out to burn to the ground the car they wish to drive.

Short of not having an engine at all engines must be set up right.  An engine may mix too much air or too much fuel.  Either combination produces lack- luster performance.

And so it is true in us.  If we have tonnes of passion about a certain topic but no creative solution we will likely not make an impact beyond our living room.  If we have tonnes of creativity but nothing to be passionate about we will likely be highly frustrated individuals (whose moms would really like us to move out soon.)

Wheels.  Wheels come next.  Without them the aforementioned is useless.  (Well, everything before is useless provided you are using your car for more than a couch.)

Wheels are where all of the force produced in the engine goes.  Of all the parts they are the most simple, the most useful, the most exhilarating and the most scary.  Most accidents, if I’m not mistaken, take place when the car is in motion – after all.

Wheels are action.

When passion, creativity, discipline and action work together the results are wonderful stories.  Stories revealing the extrodinary coming from the ordinary.  Stories that capture people acting with passion and creativity in every walk of life. Stories that graciously grab your attention, warm your heart, and seduce your imagination into letting go and believing that your own story can resound in the hearts of your peers, friends, family, neighbors, nation and world.

I recently tried applying hand lotion / face cream to the spot on my nose where my glasses sit.  It was sore and itchy and I thought the cream might mitigate the situation.

It worked.

I started using the stuff more and more.  Bit by bit. -I didn’t just do the bridge of my nose anymore.  No.  I started putting it on my forehead, cheeks, neck, and even my arms if there was a little extra on my hands.

Then I started noticing a disturbing trend.  My face and hands were so cold outside.  All that moisture in my skin was acting as a giant wet blanket transferring my body heat into the great wide open.

That wasn’t my only problem, though.  Far from it.

I started rolling back my usage of the cream – only to discover that my hands and face had grown used to it.  Now i can’t go without.  My once normal skin has become a desolate dessert waiting for the next dew of the god’s to moisten it’s dried and cracked fissures.

As if that wasn’t enough… (and speaking of rolling)  the cream is why the track ball on my mighty mouse doesn’t work anymore.  The poor little thing has just been exposed to too much. Its crisp plastic insides have become a sloggly sluggish bog of gooey cream.

I don’t know where to go from here.

The mouse I can replace (and have – thank you) but what of my hands and face?