Stephen Bleile

“What to do when your wife is an early bird and you are a night owl?”

Last night was the first time I’ve had to think about it.

You see, at 11:00 pm I am perfectly awake.  My mind is active. My eyes only stay closed with effort.

She, on the other hand, is already an hour past her ideal sleeping time.  Her mind is barely functioning above a quiet idle and she DOES NOT want to talk about the critical problem that has arisen: namely, my lack of tiredness. (hypotiredation.)

I thought I’d get a book to pass the time.  Out into the hallway and to my office I went.

“Can you close the door? -the hallway light is in my eyes…”

Having grabbed a book I’m back to the room, turn out the lights, but I leave the door open.  (It lets in a cool breeze.)

In the meantime she has turned to avoid the hallway light. Unfortunately she is now facing my reading lamp.

When I click it on I am made aware of this fact by her slurry objections. It doesn’t seem like a good time to point out she should turn back the other way.

I close my book (Bleak House, by Charles Dickens) and turn off the light.  I love my wife and don’t want her to miss out on a good nights rest.

In the mean time.  I scheme.  I want to find a solution. And it’s not as simple as going somewhere else in the house. No, no… the second I leave the bedroom I feel a teensy bit, well, too far away.

It came to me today.  It’s not glamorous, or hard to implement.  In fact, it seems to be pure genius.

Audio books.

Tonight I will I will happily ‘read’ Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell as she dozes off in a still and dark room that is only interrupted by my  muted laughter and the faint light of my iphone.

-sb