Stephen Bleile

OK, so we all have a bit of extra time over the holiday.  Maybe it’s time to bust out our old journals and take stock of where we are on our journey. (Hmm, Journey. Journal.  Are these related thoughts??)

I have been driving my father-in-law around Edmonton / Spruce Grove all day today.  It’s given me plenty of time to sit and really enjoy lobbies.  Dentists, massage therapists, doctors…  (The first two have the best lobbies.)  I busted out my journal in the lobby of the dentist and discovered that some of the stuff I wrote down a few months ago is as relevant now as it was then.

I was reminded that I am spirit, soul, and body and that I need to nurture each part of me. My body is the house I live in.  It is the tissues and organs and other things that make up the part of me you can see.  My soul is my mind, my will, and my emotions.  My spirit is where my intuition and true fellowship with  good friends occurs.

I was reminded that I need to be aware of which part of me is in the driver’s seat.  I need to be conscious of which part of me is calling the shots. If I only do what my body wants I will end up only drinking water, moving to a city where you walk everywhere, buying a plastic bubble to keep the dirty air out of my lungs and from touching my skin,  and learning to cook spinach wrapped broccoli – claiming I enjoy the taste.

If I only do what my soul wants I would find myself playing x-box all day while eating potato chips stopping this rigorous campaign only to go to the washroom and drink more beer.

If I only do what my spirit wants I’m not sure what would happen, to be honest.  I suppose I would pray, read my bible, hang out with friends.  Doesn’t sound too bad, actually.  Anyways, never mind that.  That’s not the point.  I’m just trying to show in my own awkward way that they’re different and some sort of balance is good.

You may not have a journal to refer to since you’ve never written one.  Sorry, there’s no store in the world that sells a copy of that book.  (Not even amazon.)  This holiday season may a great time to fix that problem.   Maybe you can start a 7 day countdown to Christmas? (Unless it’s really rude or revealing you can even post it here!)  I use multicolor pens in my journal when I’m feeling really artsy. Otherwise any old Bic will do.

There is a great set of questions you may want to use to get your journal pages full up on ink instead of blank.  Ask yourself these questions:

what am I learning about myself?

What am I learning about other people?

What am I learning about God?

There’s no need to actually answer the questions.  They’re just a good spring board to get you going.

And what does this have to do with a Christmas countdown?  Well, it just seems to me that this time is a good time to reflect.  It’s a good time to slow down for long enough to hear ourselves breathe – right from the deep down part of who we are.

Here’s an example of someone’s journal:  (Mine doesn’t have so many drawings.)

I drove my father in law to Edmonton today.  We’ll be here overnight than back again tomorrow.  It’s a long story.  Anyways, we had a dandy time on our drive discussing the economy, the weather, our entrepreneurial activities, our families, and the somewhat dilapidated state of the church.

Considering you’re not supposed to get on with your in-laws and we had a jolly good time I count it a real blessing.

Now we’re trying to figure out what movie we can go watch.  I’ve never heard of any of the ones available in the Spruce Grove theater, but, ack, who cares. 2012, Ninja Assassin, Alvin and the Chipmunks… A good shoot em up ought to do. He wants to see Avatar, but it’s not out till tomorrow.

Wait.  Now it looks like we’re just going to rent UP.

OK.  we watched it and I must say I rather enjoyed it.

What does this all have to do with Christmas?  Well, maybe just this:  enjoy the little things.   One day my father in law and I will look back at this day and say, “Remember when…”

More deep insights tomorrow.

That’s it.  Tip 7 (carried on from yesterday) is HAVE FUN.

SB

Today I would like to share a few tips to prepare you for the inevitable problems you are about to encounter with family and friends over the holiday season.

First, a bit of housekeeping.  It turns out the 12 days of Christmas (You know? The song?  Like, with turtle doves and birds stranded up trees?) actually starts on Dec 26 and goes till January 6th with it’s grand culmination on the Feast of Epiphany. Well, I didn’t know that when I started my 12 days of Christmas countdown so I hope you can live with this just being a 12 day  count down as opposed to THE 12 days of Christmas.

Where was I? Oh yes.  Dealing with family and friends over the Christmas season.  These tips are appearing here because as much as we love them (family) and this seas0n (Christmas) the next two weeks are some of the most stressful of the year.  You might as well be prepared with some practical tips to take the edge off.

Tip 1.  Limit visits to 3 days. I know this is nearly impossible when people are coming and going from many miles away, but it may be worth it to get a hotel on the 4th day.  Consider the following world proverbs:

A Guest and a fish after three days are poison. – French

A guest is like rain: when he lingers on, he becomes a nuisance. – Yiddish

Even a welcome guest becomes a parasite on the third day. – Japanese

Guests should not forget to go home. – Swedish

When the guest is in most favor, he will do well to leave. – German

Tip 2. Believe the best in other people. When Auntie May decides to add some seasoning to your prize stuffing try to believe the best.  She is old and she probably forgot she was supposed to be cooking the carrots, not the stuffing.  This kind of thinking will protect you from assuming she was trying to slight you and like she thinks she’s better than you at cooking stuffing.  This can require some “out of the box” thinking and imagination on your part, but it can save you some grief and you may have yourself a good little chuckle.

Tip 3. Realize that people act out of their hurts. You do, they do, we all do.  This is highly relevant information to keep in your mind because when people do things and say things that are totally incomprehensible you NEED to be aware that it is NOT comprehensible for a good reason.  When they do such and such that makes you mad it’s likely because they’re trying to protect themselves from being hurt (defense mechanisms) or because they got hurt in the past and never worked it through.  They are reacting out of hurt.  THERE IS NOTHING LOGICAL ABOUT REACTING TO PAST HURT IN PRESENT SITUATIONS, so don’t expect it to make sense.  We do all do it though… so be aware.

Tip 4. Alcohol does NOT take the edge off. Alcohol amplifies your emotions.  If you’re having a good time it, in moderation, might make the time better.  Yay! If you’re having a bad time it will certainly make it worse.

Tip 5.  Use a life line. When things get intense it’s totally fair to call a friend not in the room to blow off some steam.  Try to pick someone who can help calm you down – not someone who will agree with you that “they” were really wrong.

So my 12 days of Christmas countdown is upside down.  It kind of makes me wonder what else I’ve unwittingly done completely ass backwards in my life.  I hope the road to hell isn’t, in fact, paved with good intentions because if it is I’ve already gone a long way in the wrong direction.

Do you have any additional Tips?  Please leave a comment and I’ll try to include them in future posts.

sb

PS.  Let’s add a Tip 6. Try praying what has become a real special prayer to me:  “Lord, give us family like friends and friends like family.” (I got that from my oldest brother one Christmas and it stuck.)

You can read day 1o here

Ah Christmas.  The great three part holiday. The birthday of Jesus OR the reason for what I now understand is increasingly known as “Winter Holidays.” OR the time when Santa masquerades around the planet on his sleigh.  Judging by the songs out there I’d say the popular sentiment rest in option 1 or 3.  The beauty is you get to pick.

Regardless of your choice I invite you to join me here for my 12 days of Christmas.

At first I was going to call this series “Christmas Can be Sad.”

Why such a morbid title?  Well, because it’s true.  And at the time of the year when maybe a few things seem a little ,well, false  – I thought a little truth might be welcome.

“Expectations are premeditated resentments.” At least that’s what they say.   That’s why Christmas can be so hard.  We have expectations that the songs will be true.  That we’ll deck the halls while walking in a winter wonderland as the jingle bells of sleighs filled with laughing children go by.  The songs tells us that we should be eating chestnuts by the open fire and that if we listen carefully we ought to hear some angels singing. (“Hark! Do you hear what I hear??”  We would ask perplexed as love and peace swam over our souls and angelic hosts lit up the well worn highway between here and wherever you’re trying to get.)

These things, by and large, do NOT happen. (That’s why I wrote my own 12 day count down to Christmas.)

More often than not cars slug bumper to bumper down icy roads in a 9 round battle to get to work, to make the money required to spend at the mall; which requires more driving  -all to jostle our way through the throng of panic stricken shoppers looking for the perfect gift, or at least the one that says “I tried” or at very least the one that says, “You gave me something so now I have to give you something.” <deep breath> <sigh>

What about family?  Well, that’s the ultimate bee hive of expectations that buzz around our brains as we buzz around the living rooms of those people who know us, love us, and annoy us the most.

It’s not that expectations are all bad, either.  It’s quite reasonable to want to feel loved, for example.

While it can be sad Christmas can also be a joyous time full of laughing, funning, gaming, and rejoicing. That’s why I can’t call this 12 day series my original title.  I don’t want to focus on the bad.

BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW SOME OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS WON’T BE MET I INVITE YOU TO JOIN ME THESE 12 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN.  IT’LL BE FUN, BUT IT WON’T BE FAKE. Maybe read this blog when you feel anything but rested (ye merry gentlemen.) OR when it becomes clear that Santa is NOT coming to town due to poor weather conditions. (I’d like to do my part to keep the alarmingly high number of people who go to the hospital during this season due to stress related break downs.)

We’ll look at what makes people do what they do, reflect on the best buys at the mall, South Park’s take on the season, perhaps if you’re bold you’ll share your story here.  AND with any luck we can get through the holiday together.

Sit back and enjoy.

See you tomorrow.

sb